Do I want to Drown Myself, or is it JUST the Luteal Phase?
This past week I have felt an overwhelming sense of doom. My brain is fogged, my energy is at zero and if I see one more ‘What I Eat in a Day’ video, I think I might throw my phone into the sea. Better yet, maybe I’ll just throw myself in. But why do I feel this way? A few clicks on the internet and a look at some dates, bingo! The luteal phase, that stupid little bitch. When it comes to hormonal phases, I hate her the most.
But lately, I’ve been wondering if hormones are just the issue. As a creative, I often feel trapped in my own body. It’s like a sense of overwhelm that I simply can’t get out of. ChatGPT points towards lots of concerning outcomes. Depression, anxiety, burnout, ADHD, perfectionism, fear of failure. All lovely.
But just last week, in my ovulation phase, I wrote a three page list of ‘How to Become that Girl’. Words like exercise, lymphatic drainage and always eat breakfast grace the pages. I was excited and was so going to do it! Fast forward to this week and I started my day with a McDonald’s breakfast and a cool Coke Zero from the boot of my car. This after telling my boyfriend that I was going to start a diet today. What a time to be alive…
I realised that it’s always been this way. Highs, a mid roll, then tumbling lows. Hormones really do mess with us and as I nearly reach 40, I’m struggling with the concept that they might start to get worse. When you look up the luteal phase, it’s characteristics are awful.
Physical symptoms include:
Mood Changes: Many women experience premenstrual syndrome (PMS) during the luteal phase, which can include mood swings, irritability, anxiety, and sadness. Breast tenderness, bloating. Changes in appetite, increased hunger and cravings are often reported. Headaches, fatigue, back pain, and changes in sex drive can also occur.
I mean, do we ever get a break?